“I feel like my cultural identity is a big part of my personal identity. Its the cliche of the chicano/ Mexican-american, of “ni de aquí ni de allá”, but when you are part of two cultures yet feel like you don’t belong to either, you take what you want from both and create your own hybrid. What I am is a culmination of this american alternativeness that I’ve grown up in and surrounded myself with, and the roots and traditions of Mexico that I’ve been exposed to.”
Bruno Hernandez
“I feel like being queer and growing up in PR with a really religious family was a huge factor as to why I came out in college and really came into myself then. I feel like it was harder to be myself in PR and getting space from the culture and island allowed me to meet people with new perspectives and other values/ways of seeing the world that made me feel okay to be myself fully.”
Carliane Rodriguez
Gabbi
Andrea
Shawn
Bruno
Self-Portrait
Carliane
Not from here, not from there.
Every Sunday morning my Mom would wake me up no later than 7. I would put on my nicest dress and a pair of flats and we would go pick up mi tias, mi prima, y mi abuela before heading to a painfully long Spanish mass at Saint Ferdinand Church in San Fernando. I don’t remember much of church, besides my mom pinching me each time I misbehaved, but I could never forget the excitement of knowing that in just a few short minutes mass would end and we would be en route to the panadería to get pan dulce y champurrado.
I don’t go to Church anymore. I don’t even believe in God, but I still go to the panadería to get pan dulce and champurrado.
This is a sentiment that defines much of who I am and who I have become as a young Mexican-American artist. This idea of maintaining parts of your culture within yourself while also attempting to figure out who you are outside of that box is something I wanted to capture visually. In my own experience, Latine people have worked so hard to continue our traditions and cultures in United States, despite diaspora. I am so grateful to have grown up immersed in Chicano spaces surrounded by people who similarly face the dilemma of “ni de aquí, ni de allá.” Finding my place in American culture while still attempting to hold on to my Mexican roots is something I’m still learning and understanding.
As an artist I thought there was no better way to make sense of this than through artistic expression. With this project, I looked to my friends, photographing them in spaces they chose, doing my best not to distract from them with my own eye. I aimed to explore what their “panadería after church” was. What parts of their culture did they hold on to? What did they let go of? Although these are just portraits, I urge you to look deeply at them. There is so much to understand about each of these people in their fashion, expressions, and choice of locations. Latine people are not a monolith. We are unique and individual, and each of us has something to say.
Special thanks to my lovely models and friends:
Andrea Cacho
Bruno Hernandez
Carliane Rodriguez
Gabbi Dotres
Sol Casimiro
Shawn Urena-March
Special thanks to my mom who always emphasized the importance of culture.
